This is based on some of the things I observed over the last ~15 years. Some of it may sound exaggerated and offensive, it is meant to be neither.
South paranoia
In Trivandrum, people were very concerned about what the kid would grow to be from the time the child was born. The choice was usually between a doctor and an engineer [sometimes lawyers crept in]. When the child in primary school would have exams, mother, aunt and grandparents would take an off from work to teach the child. Neighbours were requested to keep their TV and music players volumes low.
If the child didn’t get an admit in one of the colleges in Kerala, the immediate look out would be Karnataka and Tamil Nadu. Next option would be to move to Dubai, Saudi, Kuwait or Muscat. I haven’t figured out the malayalees mania about going to Gulf. Every second lady I met had her husband in the gulf. The husband would come once in 2 or 3 years stay for a while and push off for work. He would be a big saar in his home town and a driver in the gulf if required, that didn’t matter.
In the hindu families, for every daughter, the parents would build a house to gift her as dowry along with gigantic amounts of gold and her husband would come over and stay there with the lady and in-laws sometimes. People didn’t believe in partying or indulging in huge celebrations, they would rather hoard up all money and savings and buy land and grow coconut trees and invest in gold.
Mallus [as malayalees are usually referred to outside Kerala] usually have great affinity for other mallus. They manage to find mallu friend(s), mallu restaurants, mallu shops and mallu barbers wherever they go. They usually hang out in groups and resort to speaking in malayalam wherever they go, whatever the crowd be. And mallus are omnipresent. The joke about Neil Armstrong finding a mallu chaiwaala when he landed on moon is a very valid one!
Mals [well, short for mallus] also displayed great affinity for medicines, they carried a bunch with them and sometimes took some in advance with the fear that they may get a head ache or something. A sneeze and they would have visited the ayurveda ashram next door, a doctor for antibiotics and a homeopathist for treatment. They lived on boiled water only and the moment they stepped out of Kerala they complained of food poisoning and required a fortnight to recover.
North paranoia
If you are a doctor or an engineer, boy you are a big man. And you got to flaunt it every which way possible. To the North Indians, back then South India meant Madhraas and Kanyakumari. Period. No concept of Kerala, Trivandrum, Kottayam [then the most literate part of the country].
If you are giving a wedding reception it ought to be bigger and grander than your neighbour’s aunts nephew’s. So what if you cant afford it. Families make plans for children based on their sex. If it’s a female child then she should be taught cooking, stitching, cleaning etc along with her education. She should be married before 22. If it’s a male child then, he should be prepared to continue his dad’s business just the way his dad took over his grand dad’s. So the idea would be to somehow take a degree [i.e. complete your graduation, BCom, BA whatever; not important] and help out the father businessman. If you flunk, (who cares), so did your dad and uncle... family business awaits you.
Play music in your houses in the volume that suits your mood and environment. If the neighbours protest, tell them it’s your house and you are free to do what you want. Pull a fight to prove you are a bigger man. Priority goes to the clothes and jewellery that you wear than to the books you need to read. In fact education is secondary to many things.
And don’t visit a doctor until you are in deep waters. After all there is very little that the doctor knows and you don’t. So try out all your intuitions and medicines [suggested by the chemist] and when things don’t work out, visit the doc.
Hmmm….
While, you can’t generalize TVM with the entire South India you can relate it to Kerala. And though things have changed over the years, some of this is present to this day J